I am a Year 6 ākonga/student in the Uru Mānuka Cluster. My kaiko/teacher is Whaea Miki. This is a place where I will share my learning. Please note that some of it will not be complete, it will be my first drafts. Remember to be positive, thoughtful, and helpful when you leave me a comment.
Hello Angel. I like the way that you have talked about what you can see in the picture.You mentioned bubbles,which I can see.You wrote about a concrete castle.I can see one.You have also used great ideas for what I can't see.There may be mermaids in the castle.There could even be a prickly plant.It's good to have an imagination.If we have that,we can write about ANYTHING. What did you find hard about writing this story? I look forward to hearing from you.
Hi Angel! What a beautiful piece of descriptive writing! As I was reading it I created a picture in my head of a safe, calm, blue, beautiful castle. One where mermaid sisters played and swam together all day. :D It sounds like this is where you and your sisters might live if you were mermaids!
Hello Angel.
ReplyDeleteI like the way that you have talked about what you can see in the picture.You mentioned bubbles,which I can see.You wrote about a concrete castle.I can see one.You have also used great ideas for what I can't see.There may be mermaids in the castle.There could even be a prickly plant.It's good to have an imagination.If we have that,we can write about ANYTHING.
What did you find hard about writing this story?
I look forward to hearing from you.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteMy hardest thing was putting desribing words in. Thank you mrs cassidy for that comment you said.
ReplyDeleteHi Angel!
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful piece of descriptive writing! As I was reading it I created a picture in my head of a safe, calm, blue, beautiful castle. One where mermaid sisters played and swam together all day. :D It sounds like this is where you and your sisters might live if you were mermaids!
my sister really wants to be a mermaid. thank you miss d for the comment.
ReplyDeleteNot a bad effort Angel, just a few little spelling mistakes.
ReplyDeleteFrom Grandad and Grandma.
thank you granddad and grandma for the comment.
Delete-Angel