Opening sentence for my story: The present

Hello Bloggers, We all have been learning to write an interesting first sentence to hook our reader. my first sentecne was "One day there was a boy that was at home playing on the TV with his controller. He was in his living room." And then I improved myself and wrote "BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM There were flashing lights coming from the TV. There was a boy playing on that TV. It was very Dull. He was in the living room." I think my updated sentence was much more exiting. Does my opening sentence hook my attention?

Returning to School

Good Afternoon readers I am going to be showing you my first draft, it is about my writing Returning to School after the lock down. I have gotten instructions from my teacher we had to write what we were feeling coming back to school. I am proud that I have done some writing I was writing about  what I was doing, feeling, and who the person was but mainly how I was feeling. I used Exited a lot in my writing because I was very exited. What could I do to improve my writing more?