Monday, May 25, 2020
Returning to School
Good Afternoon readers I am going to be showing you my first draft, it is about my writing Returning to School after the lock down. I have gotten instructions from my teacher we had to write what we were feeling coming back to school. I am proud that I have done some writing I was writing about what I was doing, feeling, and who the person was but mainly how I was feeling. I used Exited a lot in my writing because I was very exited. What could I do to improve my writing more?
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Kamusta Angel,What was so interesting is that you used so much description and Information what you were doing.I think you could not use the same emotion.A little more advice is "When she woke up she was feeling more exciting" what I think you could change Is the Much to "When she woke up she was feeling much more excited for school" and you could change "It was a Sunday night and there was this girl who was excited" To "It was a Sunday night and there is a girl who was excited to go to school"
ReplyDeleteHello Makayla-J thank you for commenting on my blog,
Deletethanks for the Advice I am kinda confused to what you said could you please make that sentence a bit more different and easier to read if you can. I was aloud to use the same emotion because I was feeling that way a lot of times. -Angel
Angel,what a BEAUTIFUL piece of writing.I like the way you described how you were feeling and why you were feeling that way.It's always good to be able to explain our feelings and why we might feel the way we do.
ReplyDeleteTHANK YOU for sharing a super blog and I am glad to hear that you are happy.
Hello Mrs Cassidy,
DeleteThank you for commenting on my blog. -Angel
Hello Angel.
ReplyDeleteI am just leaving a comment to let you know that I have had a look at your blog tonight.
Hello Angel.
ReplyDeleteI am just leaving a comment to let you know that I have had a look at your blog tonight.I can't wait to see what other work you have been doing in class.Have a great week.
Hello Mrs Cassidy,
DeleteThank you for commenting again I hope you have a great week as well.